Over the past two days, I attended a gathering of Christian businesspeople.

I didn't talk much. I didn't listen much; rather, I observed, took notes, and thought silently.

Their being overly emotional and sentimental offered me the chance to reflect on the role and the meaning of religion in our lives.

I believe in Jesus Christ, who saved me from my sins. That won't change.

Because I believe in God, I want my faith to be more correct, rational, and reasonable.

I could be agnostic, but that's too risky.

Assume there is 1% chance that all the stories about Jesus Christ are true - what would be the next step for any reasonable person?

Regarding this concern, I've laid out some key questions. By answering these questions as logically as possible, I aim to learn more about God, Christianity, and religion.

Does God intervene in people's lives?

My answer is "No."

I don't think God intervenes in people's lives, at least nowadays.

1. When interpreting life events through the lens of the Bible and religion, the approach becomes vulnerable to refutation. For example, why do some religious individuals still experience failures in their lives, businesses, or health?

2. Life is full of rare events, and our memories are filled with outliers. This is a natural phenomenon for everyone.

If our life consists of 30,000 days, there is a 97% probability that we will experience an event that occurs once in a million - statistically. Uncommon events don't necessarily mean a divine intervention.

3. If God is involved in people's lives, there should be evidence. I mean evidence similar to what one would find after conducting an A/B test. For His intervention to be meaningful, it must affect people's lives; that is, there must be the "difference." If there is no difference after God's action, I would prefer to call it "no action." Additionally, the difference should not only exist but also exhibit a tendency - in other words, there should be a clear skewness in experimental group (under God's influence) distinct from the control group. At least in the era I live in, I can't find any evidence that people who believe and rely on God outperform others. Perhaps God intentionally remains silent in the modern era. Maybe He revealed Himself more frequently in ancient times. But then, what would life have been like for me in those old times? I could have been killed by neighboring tribes, become a slave, or died in my 40s. People's lives are generally improving. Assuming that God was active in the past and dormant nowadays is quite peculiar.

Can religion answer ethical dilemma?

My answer is "No."

I don't believe it's the role of any religion to solve an ethical dilemmas. Paradox can't be resolved; that's the essence of a paradox.

Just as science and mathematics can't solve ethical problems, neither can religion. It's irrational to ask religion to address unsolvable issues. We can gain some assistance and perspective on ethical problems from religion, but it's no different than what we can get from science or math.

Approximately 25,000 people die from hunger every day. Knowing this won't change our daily lives drastically. It's not practical to cancel our family dinners, luxury anniversaries, or romantic dates to help those who are dying. There is no optimal balance between spending money to fight hunger and spending on ourselves. If there were an objective function whose solution represents the perfect balance between the two, the answer would converge to 0 for ourselves and 100 for those dying from hunger.

We can't simply hand over this troubling dilemma to religion. Religion and ethics are two distinct concepts. Personally, I don't rely on my religion to make me a "good" person. In fact, I don't even strive to be a "good" person. Rather, my goal is to be loved and respected by my close family and friends, hopefully by farthest people, too - that's all I want. For me, being religious means being faithful. Being faithful means having belief in God, and nothing more.

I believe that the universe is too mysterious to be a mere coincidence. Mathematical concepts such as $e$, $\pi$, and $i$ were discovered rather than devised. Yet, they perfectly coincides with each other and even explain physical phenomena. How is this possible? For example, Bernoulli discovered $e$ while studying compound interest - that is, applying very small interest to very small periods of time, approximating the time period to zero.

Which religion should I choose? How different is Christianity from other religions?

My answer is "I don't know."

I have to figure out whether Christianity is unique, and why it is if it is.

If God doesn't intervene in our lives, what is left in Christianity? Religion can remain, because it represents one's faith in the cosmic mystery. But the Christian values come under examination.

Steve Jobs was known to follow Buddhism. Mother Teresa was a Catholic nun, and Mahatma Gandhi was a Hindu.

Prayer, meditation, fasting exist in most religion.

Why should one believe that Jesus Christ is the only way to truth and salvation?

Ridiculous superstition is present in every religion. It's the same bullshit to say that reciting one's children's prayer can send them from parole to heaven as it is to claim that relying on Jesus Christ will make one's academic or business performance better than others.

I have a strong tendency to believe in Christianity. As Charles Darwin did, I have to actively seek out evidence that could refute my belief.

What does God want from me?

My answer is "I don't know."

Alright, God exists. Now what should I do?

There's a flower, there's a bee, and there's a butterfly. I know. Knowing that something exists doesn't call on me to take any action.

I believe that God's will for each individual has changed over time and place. It's possible that in the 10th century, when many people were illiterate, He did not want them to read and understand the Bible. It's also possible that He does not want us to go to church and gather together every Sunday, because many things can now be accessed online. In fact, He might want us to engage in discussions with ChatGPT about Himself, as AI is much better at memorizing and identifying patterns from large texts than humans are.

God would not have judged people solely based on their faiths. One's ability to have faith depends on factors such as literacy, intelligence, and even luck. For example, many Asians did not hear about Jesus Christ until long after his death, and therefore could not have faith even if they felt a sense of something greater than themselves. They lacked the knowledge to describe this overwhelming feeling, which we now understand to be God's presence.

Based on this, I conclude that my relationship with God, my faith, and my religion is deeply personal to me. By 'personal', I mean that it is not necessarily kept secret, but rather that it is a unique and individual experience for each person. It's a one-to-many relationship between God and His people, and each relationship has its own set of ground rules and definitions.

I am not sure of what God may want from me, and it is possible that He may not have any wants or needs. Therefore, I'll pursue my faith in my own way by studying more about Jesus Christ. Like Darwin, I will also eagerly scrutinize my own beliefs and God's existence, searching for any inconsistencies or contrary evidence.